In the old scrapbook there are many letters, which someone has tried to tear out but, fortunately, they were not, totally, successful, as there remains enough of each to be read though, perhaps, not enough to be fully understood.
Some of these letters were written to my grandfather, by his mother, and, while at first I couldn't see, couldn't understand, what they might be referring to, as time went on I began to see a reason, though it was incomprehensible to me then, and is now, I did begin to understand, given the time and the society in which they were written, though still not appreciate.
They didn’t make any sense. It took some years for me to come up with a meaning; a reason for them being wrtitten; an answer as to what they, probably, were about. No guarantees
The letters never mention the subject because it is obviously well known to each as to what they refer. To make things more difficult for me, someone, wishing to keep things a secret, removed the informative parts of each letter; the parts that may have told me what the problem was.
Reading between the lines, as much as I could, it became apparent that the young lady my grandfather was courting and, later, planning to marry, was not welcome into the family but why was a mystery.
Knowing that my great grandfather was very religious, and a very strong member of the Church of England, the two most likely reasons, from his point of view, could have been that my grandmother-to-be was a Catholic (Heaven forbid!), of another, perhaps, obscure religion (not so bad!), an atheist (almost as bad as being a Catholic!), or illegitimate.
Illegitimacy was a big sin back in the middle to late 1800s, now-a-days, it’s, probably, more common than being legitimate but, then, it was, almost, a crime.
I thought it best to look into this as a possible reason, because it might be the easiest to prove – it wasn’t! It took many years to find who her father might have been and when I, finally, did find him, he wasn’t, so illegitimacy was, almost, certainly the problem.
Research showed that my grandmother’s mother, my great-grandmother, Harriet Parr, married a James Aslett in 1864 and the couple had a child, in 1867, who they christened, William James.
In July, 1873, my grandmother was born and christened Emily Harriet – but, on her birth certificate, no father’s name is given; the space for the name has a line drawn across it.
The following year, in December of 1874, James died so doesn’t appear to have been the father of my grandmother.
What happened, we can only speculate. as there is no proof and what evidence there is, is purely circumstantial.
The story was as simple as that, but what a storm it must have caused when my grandfather had to tell his parents.
Surprisingly, my grandfather was also a very religious man, and strongly Church of England; the bible was his guide to everything in his daily life but he must have loved my grandmother more than his religious beliefs, though my grandmother had broken no laws of their religion, just the moral code of the times.
Below, I give transcriptions of the letters and links to copies of the originals, where that is possible; many of thes they are still pasted in the scrapbook.
| Letter 1 | April 17 1890, | |
| 10, Ariel Road, | ||
| Brondesbury |
| I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I told you I was upset but you know or perhaps you did not think how much I loved you and felt I was not near you to see what was going on. I shall never forget that morning you went away. You seemed gone from me forever. We cannot help these feelings. I am very glad you can make yourself so comfortable at Newport. It would be very hurtful to think you were so far from home and should not mind if you were not. It is that unity of the same spirit which makes you so dear. You ask about the cards. I wish Emilie to have the cross, I forgot to say, because I have given each of my girls at Sunday School one. When a child is dear to you from his birth as you were to me I and your Father have thought no other boy like you so you must not think I mistrusted you but I was afraid you had taken too much on yourself as you have to work a position. My dear I was much obliged to you for your kindness in sending the Postal Order so soon. I must confess I was rather upset at the slip of paper. I hope you have both considered what a serious thing you have done. You my dear have a lot to do in the time. I do not know anything about Emilie only from what you have told. I should think she is a very nice young lady. |
| My dear boy, | ||
| With love and kisses to my Darlings, | ||
| May our Blessed Redeemer ever be with thee both for His names sake. Amen, | ||
| From your ever loving Mother, | ||
| M.M. Newport |
1890, May
A Roundel, in my Grandfather's scrapbook, is inscribed with a poem entitled 'Forget Me Not', which reads:-
| To flourish in my native bower | ||
| And blossom round my cot, | ||
| I cultivate a little flower, | ||
| They call, Forget me not! | ||
| Tho' oceans should betwixt us roar, | ||
| And distance be our lot, | ||
| Dearest! Tho' we ne'er meet more, | ||
| Sweet friend! Forget me not! | ||
Around the outside are written the words:-
"From Dundee Cottage, Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight - May 1890 -Mizpah".
‘Mizpah’ was used by the Victorians, mainly, for bereavement notices, and tombstones, but it could be used in much happier situations – especially for those in love and, yet, parted, if only for a short time.
The word itself comes from the bible, Genesis 31:49, where Jacob built a pile of stones as a beacon and called it ‘Mizpah’. The word meant “The Lord watch between me and thee when we are absent, one from another.”
1890 November 15th.
A telegram arrived at 10, Ariel Road, Brondesbury, London, which was, simply, addressed to ′Newport′, with the message, "Christ Church St. Andrews-the-Less". It was sent from Cambridge at 5.56 p.m. that same day and, almost certainly, was sent by my grandfather to advise his parents of his coming marriage and that the ceremony was to be held in "Christ Church", in the parish of St. Andrews–the–Less, in Cambridge.
1890–1891 – There is a second letter in the scrapbook of Grandfather′s from his mother. It has no date on it though it may have been cut off before being pasted onto the page. Because of the letter′s pasted position relative to other papers in the scrapbook, the year must be either 1890 or 1891.
Great grandmother talks, in the letter, of receiving from grandmother, both rooted flowers and cut flowers. She also says that the former, which she planted out, are "doing well in the little garden" and adds that the cauliflowers are no more. All these statements indicate that it was spring or summer.
It seems that at the time of this letter Grandfather and Grandmother were living on the Isle of Wight, though whether they are married or not isn't clear. However, in the letter great grandmother does talk of grandmother making a decision to part with either her mother or my grandfather which doesn't sound as if they had just recently married. As they were married on December 6th. 1890, the most likely time for the letter to have been written would appear to be spring or summer 1890.
Here is what the letter says:-
"My dear boy, I think you will think me unkind not answering your letter before. I have been so busy this week and hoping to hear more news from you or I should have written. Give my love and many thanks to Emilie for the flowers. I was delighted with them. They were very weak from want of air. I did not get them till Monday morning. I set the roots and they are doing well in the little garden at Brondesbury. The cauliflower is no more. It was very nice.
The cut flowers are all alive too. Your father and me we should be glad to have you at home again. Father says that Emilie must part with one of you, either her mother or you. Of course we do not know what ties there are at Newport for her, her mother may not be able to do without her. If she could make herself at home here and help me with the dressmaking and be like Ruth of Old that your people should be hers she is quite welcome for your fathers and my part. At any rate if you get the post she might come here for a change and see how she likes it. We are all well and all is well. I might mention I have Mrs. Cutler to wash and do the steps and most of the work. I dare say you will be surprised to hear the Roses have moved. The youngest son was married a fortnight ago and now they cannot keep the house on, it is too much expense for them.
Bobie is getting all right. Grandma and your Aunts and Uncles are all well. I am very anxious to hear how you are getting on.
May our Heavenly Father guide and keep you both and fill you with His Holy Spirit for Jesus Christ Sake. Amen.
From your loving Mother
M. Newport.
